Sending off and waiting

Scripts are sent.. well were sent about three weeks ago. Had a little trouble with the Therapist's as foreign computers and Word documents on Apple fail to play ball.

Then it was just a long, long waiting game for the most of the summer while I hoped to hear back about a date for performance.

There's yet no date and no theatre so a few things are needing to be rethought. It's not just scripts that have rewrites, but ideas and visions too.

Haven't been able to do a rehearsal schedule without a date so feeling a little unorganised and out of touch with it.

Will see what happens when the term commences...

Stage one: Checks

These last few, days before I send off the scripts, (must get to B before she pops off to Spain) have been days of final checks. Final read throughs with my mum so I was sure to be sending off a 99% correct script, My mum seemed to think the voice was that of a gremlin…

Having gotten Lisa, a school councilor and previous ChildLine operator, to read through it, she flashed up the issue of ‘content matter’. It hadn’t occurred to me that for some this play could be disturbing and stir secreted memories.

So, it’s necessary to run it through the correct channels at school, but not up to me to do this; I will inform the head of Drama along with sending him the script.

One of the main reasons this issue didn’t flash up with me is I’ve focused solely on schizophrenia, having done all my research here. However, what I put in for a dramatic reveal, is a far more common issue, that of abuse. There are high possibilities that audience members will have experienced abuse themselves or known others that have. Which is why we must tread cautiously; she did, though, say the play was sensitive enough not to offend, so there were no changes I had to make (thank god).

As a way to see who comes away effected by what I will set up two charity boards and buckets, one for domestic violence and one for schizophrenia. I think one will be a local charity and one a national one, I’m thinking along the lines of the NSPCC.

She also gave me some helpful information: the chair isn’t to be comfy as you want them to be uncomfortable, this way you can tell a lot from their body position. 

Stage one: Marking with a red (black) pen

 Here’s where I play the teacher, this part I do find fun. My granny told me you must never correct your work on your computer, you must print it out! Despite being a pain if you have 35 odd pages to print, but it must be done. And I much prefer correcting in the flesh. It was also quite exciting having the first print out copy of my very own script.

The main thing I was checking for was making sure things flowed, reading it out load and adding commas where needed (I need to use more commas), changing those words that seem pot holes to the flow.

There were also a few paragraphs I needed to change, improving on things etc. But here I wasn’t making big changes to whole sections.

Then I simply went through the printed copy and online copy making sure they matched (a little boring but gives time for another check).

Stage one: Alterations

 I hate this part the most, it doesn’t matter what I’ve written, but I dread it. It’s where my mum and I sit down to dissect my work. She brings up everything that doesn’t work or I’ve made to obscure (well you know what they say: show don’t tell). I started off this session with reminding her that anything she said I wasn’t going to write down, and it’s funny but (no offence mummy) everything she suggests or writes down in the notes, sticks out like a sour thumb when you read it. The voice really is in the writer’s head.

I recently learnt that when editors edit novels the majority of changes they make are structural and I think this is due to the latter.

Really reading through and scrutinizing the script has improved it dramatically, it’s a chore that must be done. It also clarified what I already knew: areas that worked really well and those that were just too confusing.

It’s a tense process, I’m not going to lie, as I counter everything she brings up, but this is a good balance. One of the main issues I found doing this is people, after listening to it, were saying ‘this area needs work’, but that was pretty much all the direction they gave. And without knowing what I needed to change I couldn’t change it, most frustrating.

When we’d reached a sticky point half way through where the things that needed changing just weren’t taking the changes that were needed, I got colourful with my felt tips:

Here I was working out each section in the play and what the point of that section was.

I met an amazing tutor who told me ‘everything you write needs to have a theme and structure’:

‘Do you notice my skeleton?’

‘No.’

‘Would you notice if it wasn’t there?’

And you see what I mean, so the structural element of White Flies is the secret and big reveal at the end, the themes: people know what’s it like to have schizophrenia and working out Jane’s trigger.

Now everything I write revolves, links and has to be relevant to those themes. (Another example being in my, ‘in progress’, novel the theme is: love leads to self discovery) Knowing your theme makes a huge difference to your writing, it’s like the coat hanger to which you hang your creations. This may not make sense now, but when your writing and constantly thinking about your theme it makes everything so much clearer. And means you don’t write waffle, every word, character and idea has a purpose.

So my themes were in the middle (dark pink); section numbers around the edge (dark, dull green); relevance of those sections to the play (grass green) and what I needed to change or add to those sections below (pink). The big purple scribble up the side is the reveal and other notes just buzzing brain ideas I needed to get down.

By the end of the evening (midnight, when I really do write best) I had sorted my most confusing section, changed me reveal and re-written my ending.

This has taught me that you may think your first draft is fine and things do make sense because they do to you, but it’s called a first draft for a reason.

I’m just worried about how many drafts I’m going to have as I need to get the scripts to them for their line learning.

Great idea: if you’ve written a play then record it to your computer and plug it into your car: you have your very own radio play for when your stuck in traffic. Or just record yourself reading your kids favourite story!

Stage one: Touching up

A creative writing course in Purbeck, with the newly published author Joanna Rossiter, gave me a great amount of time to just sort my script. I had lots of little sections that I just needed to link together and put things in an order that made sense. 

On the Wednesday we spent the afternoon on a very rocky sea side where Gemma, Jemima (Banks) and I decided to record the play, on Garage Band (laptops in wildlife). It worked well and the girls read it brilliantly considering it was the first time they'd seen it, Jemima should have auditioned! 

Playing the recording to my mum she said there were still structural changes to make which I think I will struggle with.

The problems I'm encountering perpetuate from the fact my play is just dialogue. There's no movement or scene changes, there are only two actors and they stay the same characters throughout the 45 minutes (which I now know is 36 pages of font 12). I have to make the play interesting, dramatic and with that 'arch' but still make it as true to a therapy session as possible. It's proving a task.

I do have an underlying secret for that dramatic ending, and this secret is hinted to throughout the play; but that's the only clear structure, as the rest of the sections simply run into each other. I've tried a 'summing up' activity half way trough and have had Jane ask what there doing in the session at the start; but without really knowing what clear things need to change I'm unsure what changes to make.

At the moment I have a script and I do have a play, putting it on as it is will make a good production but I want to make it an excellent production.

(Ans just for you Gemma: Many thank to Jemima Banks)

Stage two: Auditions

Being one of the girls that don’t ‘Shellcialise” after supper there’s a 90% chance that if you’re a boy I really don’t know your name (not because I don’t care, but I really can’t remember names, thanks dad). So when people actually turned up to auditions, especially boys, I was in shock. I was also surprised because I didn’t think any were into acting; but I was delighted, so very delighted.

I held auditions over two days, 5-6, in the theatre. The parts up for grabs were the therapist and the voice, as Jane the main character, I gave to Gemma Daubney (the other drama scholar in the year). She did a marvellous job in the auditions.

Boys are funny when they audition: you can tell they really are trying but they have to maintain that ‘cool, I don’t care’ demeanour. It does make me laugh; but I wish they’d audition for more school plays as they really are good.

 The audition piece for them was a poem from the play:

         I am nothing

         I wonder why I am not dead

         I hear the deadly truth

         I see the destruction I cause

         I want to die

         I am nothing

         I pretended I live

         I feel worthless

         I touch the hour of death as it ticks by

         I worry that death won’t find me

         I cry too much

         I am nothing

         I understand that nothing will love me

         I say too much, always too much

         I dream of the end

         I hope for the end

         I am nothing           

I chose this, as it’s one of the few chunks the voice has; but if I were to do it again I would probably choose another section as they found it hard to read it sarcastically and this is what I was really looking for, someone who could change the tone of their voice and had a subtle yet domineering presence.

I wasn’t to bothered about them getting it right away as that’s something we can work on, but I needed to be sure they could get it. And sure I am about Ollie, (who I’ve chosen) he said this one line and I just though: yes, that’s it he’s got it. He also has a voice most like Gemma, which is key to the play. But I did consider anther boy, Max, who had a much deeper voice, but he was more of a risk and I just wasn’t sure if it would work. So Ollie it is.

The auditions were great fun and suddenly made everything feel so real. Having my play read out in the theatre was so cool and I sat there making those little director notes:

X: sounds a bit too much like Charlie, can’t change tone of voice

Y: really friendly, only acts when speaking, good smile, not that much presence

The girls audition piece was taken from the roll play over making a new friend:

Therapist: I’m afraid not, but this week another little step in this goal, I thought we’d do some role-play. The scenario being: your library when you see me, a stranger, reading the same book as you or just one you’ve read. I want you to talk to me like I am a possible friend.

Jane: (readjusting herself) Hello.

Therapist: Hello.

For this the rules were reversed as I sat on the stage and them in the audience (this is where they’ll actually be). In the therapist I was looking for someone who had great presence as they wont have that instant ‘stage presence’. They need to be calm and controlling but friendly, as Jane has to want to talk to them. It was a lot harder to choose then I thought and I had to re-audition people in their dorms. Most of the girls that auditioned did something that was great and something that wasn’t, so I had to choose whom I thought could take direction the best. In the end it was between two and I decided finally on B because she didn’t look like she was acting and she has great presence. Just needs to work on that smile over the summer J I told her to practice being a therapist during family suppers (touch of Stanislavski method acting).

I’ll be sending out the script to everyone involved over the summer so they can get line learning!

Stage one: Writing

Before any actors or lights or costumes or directing comes the writing. Hard, tiresome and brain tangling writing. At the moment I’d say the most stressful bit but I reckon I’ll say that for every bit.

I’m not entirely sure where the idea came from, I just remember getting very into it on my 13^th birthday weekend and buying my favourite thing to write in: a thick pad of lined paper. Safe to say my first attempt was awful and I would not advise trying to write a whole play by hand (Shakespeare, I commend you). My biggest issue was, as per usual well pointed out by my mum, ‘too poetic, not real enough, no one would say that.’ And of course she was right, it was a true disaster, I’ve searched out an extract to show you:

Beth: You have to begin to prepare it three days in advance. You start by making the rose broth; you must use fresh roses, my favourite being red. Despite my best efforts I always manage to prick myself; father told me ‘you mustn’t get blood in the broth as it will alter the taste’. To the roses you add wine and water. Leave for twenty- four hours then add saffron. After another twenty-four hours, a pinch of salt and your bird. Cover and allow to infuse for a day. It’s best served with freshly baked rye.

Don’t worry a lot has changed, for a start she’s no longer called Beth. I’m sure you can see it’s issues, no one talks like that and no one makes bird poached in saffron and rose. The first draft really wasn’t my finest.

Safe to say things could only go up; but for a while White Flies remained sea level. I think it was a number of distractions: secondary school entries, leaving school, making new friends, boarding. The every day got the better of my writing and White Flies was not forgotten, it just wasn’t at the forefront of my mind.

It was the long boring prep sessions that reignited my fire for it, Sitting in your JCR (junior common room) for an hour with nothing to do and the need to be silent, really isn’t fun. Hating to feel I was wasting my time I cracked out my laptop and cracked open my bottled idea.

Last term saw me get a substantial amount done and this term to. My main time for writing being in Junior Play rehearsals, my part being an extended member of the audience (Shell: scum), I tell you there’s only so many times you can laugh at the same joke. So, my problem at the moment is trying to fit all the different sections together.

Writing a piece for an English Prep about a twin dying (I am a happy person), saw me do some research which adds so much depth to the writing; I realised I hadn’t done any research on schizophrenia. To the IT room I went to print out 60 pages of information of which I sieved through during prep.

Orange highlighter: relating to Therapist.

Blue highlighter: relating to Jane.

Yellow highlighter: general information

The idea isn’t to bombard the play with facts but if you have that knowledge the words make much more of a point.

At the moment I’ve reached a sticky point; what I wrote pre-research is a lot more dramatic and unbelievable compared with what I’m writing now. I don’t want to get rid of it as I think the play would be interesting with some really dramatic episodes but I do want it to be as realistic as possible.

A more theatrical extract:

Jane: Fate.

Therapist: Indeed.

Jane: I don’t think fate will ever find me.

Therapist: And why do you say that?

Voice: Fate is blood dripping with blood, your blood, your own blood. Like Oedipus slaughtering his father and mixing blood with his mother creating little deathly blood drops. Drops of red sin.

Jane: I’m never going to find the right man am I? Not while I’m like this. Not unless they’re the same as me, as crazy as I am and then imagine the messed up kids we’d have? Talk about a mad house.

An extract from my most recent, rehearsal, writing.

Therapist: Have you worked on those goals we set last time?

Jane: Of course.

Therapist: So what sort of steps have you tried to take?

Jane: Making a new friend is hard, I’ve tried to go to places where friends may be but I haven’t found one.

Therapist: What sort of places?

Jane: Libraries, as I want my friends to be intelligent so we have something to talk about, parks because people in parks are usually fit and like the outdoors. No pubs or clubs as I don’t like them so I don’t want my friend to.

Therapist: And what kind of person are you hoping to find here?

Jane: The perfect friend.

I much prefer this, as although it’s a little more realistic it’s still odd. Looks like there will have to be some rewrites.

A boarding house and a laptop just isn’t the place to sort my ideas so I’m waiting for that first week in the holidays where I can get it up on a big screen and not have people asking if they can borrow a top.

Little tip: phones are excellent places to write things on, essays or poems as you always have the on you and your work becomes pocket-able, though you do run the risk of looking extremely anti-social.