Stage one: Checks

These last few, days before I send off the scripts, (must get to B before she pops off to Spain) have been days of final checks. Final read throughs with my mum so I was sure to be sending off a 99% correct script, My mum seemed to think the voice was that of a gremlin…

Having gotten Lisa, a school councilor and previous ChildLine operator, to read through it, she flashed up the issue of ‘content matter’. It hadn’t occurred to me that for some this play could be disturbing and stir secreted memories.

So, it’s necessary to run it through the correct channels at school, but not up to me to do this; I will inform the head of Drama along with sending him the script.

One of the main reasons this issue didn’t flash up with me is I’ve focused solely on schizophrenia, having done all my research here. However, what I put in for a dramatic reveal, is a far more common issue, that of abuse. There are high possibilities that audience members will have experienced abuse themselves or known others that have. Which is why we must tread cautiously; she did, though, say the play was sensitive enough not to offend, so there were no changes I had to make (thank god).

As a way to see who comes away effected by what I will set up two charity boards and buckets, one for domestic violence and one for schizophrenia. I think one will be a local charity and one a national one, I’m thinking along the lines of the NSPCC.

She also gave me some helpful information: the chair isn’t to be comfy as you want them to be uncomfortable, this way you can tell a lot from their body position. 

Stage one: Marking with a red (black) pen

 Here’s where I play the teacher, this part I do find fun. My granny told me you must never correct your work on your computer, you must print it out! Despite being a pain if you have 35 odd pages to print, but it must be done. And I much prefer correcting in the flesh. It was also quite exciting having the first print out copy of my very own script.

The main thing I was checking for was making sure things flowed, reading it out load and adding commas where needed (I need to use more commas), changing those words that seem pot holes to the flow.

There were also a few paragraphs I needed to change, improving on things etc. But here I wasn’t making big changes to whole sections.

Then I simply went through the printed copy and online copy making sure they matched (a little boring but gives time for another check).

Stage one: Alterations

 I hate this part the most, it doesn’t matter what I’ve written, but I dread it. It’s where my mum and I sit down to dissect my work. She brings up everything that doesn’t work or I’ve made to obscure (well you know what they say: show don’t tell). I started off this session with reminding her that anything she said I wasn’t going to write down, and it’s funny but (no offence mummy) everything she suggests or writes down in the notes, sticks out like a sour thumb when you read it. The voice really is in the writer’s head.

I recently learnt that when editors edit novels the majority of changes they make are structural and I think this is due to the latter.

Really reading through and scrutinizing the script has improved it dramatically, it’s a chore that must be done. It also clarified what I already knew: areas that worked really well and those that were just too confusing.

It’s a tense process, I’m not going to lie, as I counter everything she brings up, but this is a good balance. One of the main issues I found doing this is people, after listening to it, were saying ‘this area needs work’, but that was pretty much all the direction they gave. And without knowing what I needed to change I couldn’t change it, most frustrating.

When we’d reached a sticky point half way through where the things that needed changing just weren’t taking the changes that were needed, I got colourful with my felt tips:

Here I was working out each section in the play and what the point of that section was.

I met an amazing tutor who told me ‘everything you write needs to have a theme and structure’:

‘Do you notice my skeleton?’

‘No.’

‘Would you notice if it wasn’t there?’

And you see what I mean, so the structural element of White Flies is the secret and big reveal at the end, the themes: people know what’s it like to have schizophrenia and working out Jane’s trigger.

Now everything I write revolves, links and has to be relevant to those themes. (Another example being in my, ‘in progress’, novel the theme is: love leads to self discovery) Knowing your theme makes a huge difference to your writing, it’s like the coat hanger to which you hang your creations. This may not make sense now, but when your writing and constantly thinking about your theme it makes everything so much clearer. And means you don’t write waffle, every word, character and idea has a purpose.

So my themes were in the middle (dark pink); section numbers around the edge (dark, dull green); relevance of those sections to the play (grass green) and what I needed to change or add to those sections below (pink). The big purple scribble up the side is the reveal and other notes just buzzing brain ideas I needed to get down.

By the end of the evening (midnight, when I really do write best) I had sorted my most confusing section, changed me reveal and re-written my ending.

This has taught me that you may think your first draft is fine and things do make sense because they do to you, but it’s called a first draft for a reason.

I’m just worried about how many drafts I’m going to have as I need to get the scripts to them for their line learning.

Great idea: if you’ve written a play then record it to your computer and plug it into your car: you have your very own radio play for when your stuck in traffic. Or just record yourself reading your kids favourite story!

Stage one: Touching up

A creative writing course in Purbeck, with the newly published author Joanna Rossiter, gave me a great amount of time to just sort my script. I had lots of little sections that I just needed to link together and put things in an order that made sense. 

On the Wednesday we spent the afternoon on a very rocky sea side where Gemma, Jemima (Banks) and I decided to record the play, on Garage Band (laptops in wildlife). It worked well and the girls read it brilliantly considering it was the first time they'd seen it, Jemima should have auditioned! 

Playing the recording to my mum she said there were still structural changes to make which I think I will struggle with.

The problems I'm encountering perpetuate from the fact my play is just dialogue. There's no movement or scene changes, there are only two actors and they stay the same characters throughout the 45 minutes (which I now know is 36 pages of font 12). I have to make the play interesting, dramatic and with that 'arch' but still make it as true to a therapy session as possible. It's proving a task.

I do have an underlying secret for that dramatic ending, and this secret is hinted to throughout the play; but that's the only clear structure, as the rest of the sections simply run into each other. I've tried a 'summing up' activity half way trough and have had Jane ask what there doing in the session at the start; but without really knowing what clear things need to change I'm unsure what changes to make.

At the moment I have a script and I do have a play, putting it on as it is will make a good production but I want to make it an excellent production.

(Ans just for you Gemma: Many thank to Jemima Banks)